Shift Changes and the Reasons Why Mom Friends Exist

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. -Ferris Bueller

Sorry for the gap in my posts, my life has been moving pretty fast lately, so I'm going to press pause and look around here with you.

 Ever notice we go through cycles through our relationships with people?  Sometimes with our spouses, with our parents, or with our kids--you get where I'm going...Our friends.  The people we turn to outside of our inner network, for unbiased opinions, support, and good laughs. We don't ever mean to lose touch with all the friends we meet on our journey through life, and thanks to the existence of Facebook, we can reconnect or keep in touch with all those "friends".  We will have a few very close friends, and depending on where we are in our life, we find a "shift change" and sub-in different friends.  Call me an optimist, but I truly believe that your closest friends you will have can let this cycle happen and still maintain an arm's length friendship, falling back in step like you always were.

I consider my friendships through my path to this point.  My first bf was my mom.  Then came my little sister being 15months younger than me, we were close, sometimes aggravatingly, hehe, and a "shift change" happened and I had some great school friends.  I remember every close friend through public school, and I am happy to have reconnected with them to see how their lives have blossomed to the present.  High school--shifts again--because I had my own circle of friends and 2 real boyfriends..leading to my now husband.  He will remain to be my closest, best companion through our life together--but we will have to work at it of course.  The idea of spending the rest of your life tied to the same person isn't for everyone; it can be boring, frustrating, and add kids into it, there's bound to be some friction.

“When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children, in one way her life begins but in another way it stops.  You build a life of details.  You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady  so that your children can move.  And when they leave they take your life of details with them. "--Meryl Streep in Bridges of Madison County.

Knock, knock! enters in the "Couple Friends".  This breed of paired com padres adds an element of fun; making you feel new to people again. The relationships renew your perspective of your own spouse, reminding each other of all the qualities you fell for--which after a few years of raising kids, is refreshing!  

Of course you need your own peeps, and thus getting to my point!

1.  Because your ugly thoughts won't be judged by your mom friends.  Every mom has them, and better to let them out and feel released from the guilt of thinking them with like-minded moms. 

2.  Sometimes you need to vent about your spouse. We don't sit around and do this all the time, but it is therapeutic at times in a safe atmosphere.
3. It is so nice to have an adult to converse with that needs your companionship just as much during this period.  You may go crazy talking to your verbally challenged babe all day.

What happens after your babes grow out of this sweet age of rolling, crawling, and babbling?  When the demands of work enter back in, and your mom friend time is harder to plan, or harder to enjoy as your little ones are too old to have them entertained for an hour or two for the moms to gab?  You turn to blogs..KIDDING! ** You try to keep in touch, drop in on them when the stars align and you have kid-free time to chat...And if you're as close friends as you thought you were, they will always be there for you, no matter how long the time passes between visits.. They will always be the ear, the shoulder, the cheer-leader you need, just as you would be for them. Don't forget the coffee! The coffee talks with all my friends will have a place in my heart always.. and will exist again, just in different ways.  Cheers!