Becoming a Mother: The Prep Class

Dear Friends, I marvel at the beautiful creation of a smaller version of ourselves combined with another.    

"The beauty of my body is not measured by the size of the clothes it can fit into, but by the stories that it tells. I have a belly and hips that say, "We grew a child in here," and breasts that say, "We nourished life." My hands, with bitten nails and a writer's callus, say, "We create amazing things.""

-Sarah, from I Am Beautiful: A Celebration of Women in Their Own Words

 I also believe whole-heartedly that birthing does not make you a mother.  Genetically being tied to your little one does not make you closer or more in-tune with your child.  Parents are born too.  I have had the pleasure of knowing some very loving individuals that have opened their hearts to raise a family. I see no difference in how we become parents, as separating how we are connected to our children.  

So what about the preparations for the arrival of a baby?  Baby showers are events we organize to help new parents in the material aspect of planning.  We think of fun games for a gathering of women to play, award prizes for not saying the word "baby", and somehow try to help new moms prepare for the struggles that lie ahead.  Of all the times women need other women, it's when we are in need of outside strength, wisdom, and reassurance in the 'before' moments of motherhood.  Gift registries are helpful but are never going to have on them what we actually need at this time. 

I have recently felt a wave of clarity on this subject...  I love party planning as much as the next gal, making sure every gathering I host has a theme, is decorated and organized with some thought behind it.  Having said this, I think when planning for the arrival of your child it can be scary, exciting, and lonely.  No one else can tell you what the proper tools are-- what car seat, or the necessary Bumbo chair, or tummy-time activity mat.  These are the wants, you will learn the needs later...  So it gives us comfort, to hear the stories from other mothers, to share in your connection with them and hear them give a prep-talk for the journey ahead.  

So mamas, give that special gift to the new mommy-to-be, but give it with a thoughtful piece of advice too.  Words are what we can offer from the heart, and stand for so much more.